Understanding the psychological state of boys is one of the keys to understanding their behaviours and helping them eradicate troubling patterns, says Educator at the University of Guyana and Psychologist, Dr. Kara T. Lord.
Dr. Lord, who specialises in counselling, and educational and developmental psychology, spoke about psychological and physical changes which affect boys versus societal expectations during a recent panel discussion titled “From Boyhood to Manhood: Unpacking, Rethinking and Reimagining Masculinity.”
The event was hosted by the University of Guyana’s Institute of Gender Studies, in collaboration with the Department of Language and Cultural Studies (FEH) and the Faculty of Education and Humanities.
“We recognise yes, there’s puberty that the boy has to go through, and this is not just a physical change. There’s hormonal things that are happening, psychological things, and it affects the way that we feel, think, behave. We recognise that there are social and cultural things that are happening. There’re expectations about what the boy is going to be in society, how he should behave. A lot of instances around peer pressure,” Dr. Lord noted.
She explained that there are a lot of social nuances pertaining to boyhood, noting that factors such as broken homes can affect their behaviours.
Nevertheless, she said it is important to allow boys to explore and figure out who they are as individuals during the adolescent stage without heavy constraints.
“Really allowing for a time of exploration…we can have a whole conversation about whether boys are allowed to do that or whether they are asked to conform to what the expectations are,” she said.
Speaking on the concept of toxic masculinity, she said society should focus more on healthier ideas surrounding masculinity where there is a more balanced sense of expression.
“We expect that men are going to be more emotionally intelligent, more in touch with their feelings, better understanding and aware of themselves, and that is also reciprocated in the way they speak to others, treat others. They can be more vulnerable without feeling that they should be fearful or scared,” she explained.
Dr. Lord noted that very often men are afraid to seek help or talk about their feelings, but pointed to counselling as a necessary option.
“I like to say counselling is for everyone. Even when you don’t think you have a problem, counselling is still there for you because there’s so many other things that you can do apart from, ‘oh I have a problem,’ or ‘help me with this problem,’” she said.
She added that some of the challenges are related to how boys and men deal with and manage their emotions, as well as whether they are able to regulate them, in addition to whether they are able to manage impulses.
“Of course there are moments when you need to act quickly but there are moments when you need to pull back and make some more strategic decisions,” she said, adding that they should focus on making informed life choices.
