Every time Orin Anthony Clarke came home from the sea, he came home with something for her.
Casareep. Cassava bread. Whatever produce her small business needed that week. It wasn’t a grand gesture — just a quiet, steady habit built over years, the kind of love that shows up in small errands rather than big declarations.
For 14 years, it was the rhythm of his relationship with Yulanda “Zandy” Adams: he went to sea, and he came home thinking of her.
This time, he didn’t come home at all.
Clarke, 54, of New Amsterdam, Berbice, was a boatswain aboard the MV Barima when the vessel capsized, and he is among those confirmed dead in the disaster. For Adams, the days since have been agonising.
“I sent him a voice note asking if he was bringing carrots and cassava bread because that’s what he normally brings for me,” Adams told Ignite News, her voice breaking. “He told me, ‘Yes, yes, yes, when I come back, I’m going to bring it.’ That was the last time I heard his voice.”
It was an ordinary exchange between two people who had built an entire life out of ordinary exchanges.
“He was a very good person. He took care of me. He took care of my children, even though they weren’t his. We started with nothing and worked hard together as a family,” Adams recalled.
When the news broke on Sunday morning that the ferry had gone down, Adams refused to accept it.
“My daughter called me Sunday morning and told me the boat had gone down. I kept saying, ‘No, this can’t be true.’ Since then, my heart has not been at rest. I kept praying that they would tell me they found him alive. That’s the only news I wanted,” she said, her eyes welling up with tears.
Even after a body believed to be Clarke’s was recovered, she couldn’t let go of hope.
“I just wanted to believe he was still alive. I know it may seem impossible, but in my heart I wanted to believe he survived,” Adams added.
Clarke had spent roughly 14 years at sea with the Transport and Harbours Department, and by his own account, the end of that career was finally in sight.
“All he kept saying was, ‘I have to work. I have to get my pension because I’m coming off this year,'” Adams recounted. “He sacrificed so much because he wanted to secure that pension.”
But according to Adams, Clarke had voiced concerns about the MV Barima’s condition long before the tragedy. She said he told her the vessel had been operating with only one engine, and that water seeped in through a hole whenever the seas grew rough, forcing crew members to bail water during voyages. He believed, she said, that running the ship under those conditions was dangerous.
What’s left now are the small rituals of an ordinary life together.
“When he came home, we would go out together. We’d eat, have a drink, come back home, sit and watch television. Those were the things we did,” she reflected.
Before every trip, Adams made sure to remind him of one thing.
“I always prayed for him. I always told him, ‘Baby, be careful.’ I even told him to make sure everything was in place just in case something happened,” she noted.
Asked how she plans to carry on without him, she struggled to find the words.
“I just trust in God to give me the faith and courage to live on without him. I love him so much,” Adams shared.
